"This boy has suffered from self-esteem problems for years", school committee member and psychologist, Delores Johnson, told Utterpants. "This will help improve his self-image and change him from the class punching bag into a super-cool dude that all the students envy. If the experiment is successful we may be inviting other students to have sex with their teachers."
Miss Francois is eagerly looking forward to seducing her young protege. "I've purchased a new black microskirt—French, of course—and I have some toys and sexy underwear ready," she enthused over can of Red Bull in the school cafeteria. "I look upon it as a public service which may save some naïve, teenage girl from another unwanted pregnancy. Frankly, most of the older guys who hit on me couldn't find a clitoris if you drew them a map and supplied them with directions. At least I'll be able to teach Jeffrey how to please a woman."
Unsurprisingly, the school's controversial decision has drawn sharp criticism from right-wing Christian fundamentalists as far away as liberal Ohio. Alicia Snodgrass, the President of the Christian Chastity Alliance was apoplectic with rage at the prospect of a 14-year-old boy having sex with his teacher. "God will strike them both dead!" she exclaimed. "Young boys should not have sex with older women! A young man's first sexual experience should be with a terrified, drunken virgin under the pool table in the basement rec room, not with an experienced French slut old enough to be his mother! Jeffrey Turner will be permanently traumatised for life if he goes through with this disgusting crime!"
When we questioned the likelihood of Turner being 'permanently traumatised' by living out a fantasy millions of American boys soil their speedos dreaming about, Ms Snodgrass squirmed with embarrassment—or possibly excitement. "You have no idea how horrible it will be for an innocent young boy like Jeffrey to see a huge pair of women's breasts inches away from his face. That slut will force him to kiss her erect nipples while she shamelessly pleasures herself to the first of several, shattering orgasms. How can he be expected to resist when she pulls him on top of her and shoves her filthy tongue down his throat?"
"But surely he'll enjoy that?" we asked.
"Nonsense," snapped the 29-year-old celibate spinster. "His shock will soon turn into full-blown fear when she rips off her skimpy skirt and rubs and kisses his throbbing penis before inserting it into her dripping vagina and begging him to 'do her like a filthy, two-bit whore."
"Well...when you put it like that..."
"I do," continued Ms Snodgrass huskily. Her eyes rolled up into her head as she leant back and began to undulate her hips in a most alarming manner.
"The pressure in that poor boy's groin will be simply unbearable! Not to mention the terrifying noises he'll have to endure as that slut forces him to thrust powerfully in and out of her toned, writhing body...oh God...ahhh...the sudden rush and feeling of elation as he...ahhh..."
Ms Snodgrass broke down completely as she plunged her hand between her legs and collapsed onto the floor, breathing heavily.
Our resident Trisexual therapist, Dr Marit Sigmundsdottir was quick to dismiss Ms Snodgrass' objections. "Jeffrey Turner is one lucky little horn toad. Sex with a female teacher is the third most popular fantasy among American boys. But only one in 400,000 ever manage it. Most have to wait until they're in their mid-fifties and discover fetish role-playing before they can satisfy the urge."
"What about the other fantasies?" we asked.
"Sex with Britney Spears was number two but I believe she's been eclipsed by Angelina Jolie."
"And the number one fantasy?"
"Sex with anyone at all."
School committee member, Delores Johnson, is adamant that the sexual encounter will be 'a healing experience' for Turner, although she did express her concern that the experience may leave some minor scars.
"Mental scars?" we asked.
"No, physical. Ms Francois' nails are a bit long..."
Some critics have suggested that the decision creates a dangerous precedent which could undermine the very fabric of US decency. As one concerned Senator put it to us: "There's no telling where this might lead. If little boys start having sex with their female teachers they're soon gonna lose interest in shooting each other. If that happens we could run out of sexually frustrated cannon-fod—er, patriots—willing to sacrifice their young lives in the War on Terror. Hell, this could totally wipe out the American porn industry at a stroke!"
Jeffrey Turner himself was clearly excited by the prospect of having sex with his French teacher as we discovered when we found him masturbating over a pair of her panties in the Schools locker room. "Oh wow!" he gushed, as he hastily pulled up his speedos. "She's so HOT! Most of the guys in my class haven't even kissed a girl yet but I'm gonna go all the way with Miss Francois and maybe even get some deep, anal action!"
Understandably, some of his classmates are envious of Turner's good fortune. School bully Jimmy Trenton (15¼), told Utterpants: "Why does he get to have sex with her? He's such a weenie! I'm the one who should be doin' her tight ass!" School councillor, Deanna Jenkins has already explained to Trenton that his belligerent attitude and disregard for the happiness of his classmates may prevent him from ever having sex—even with himself.
"Eww," commented Sherry Cargill, one of the more mature girls in Turner's class. "Having sex with a teacher is so totally gross from so many positions, I don't even want to get into them."
Ms Cargill has since been suspended after it was discovered that the sixteen-year-old blonde cheerleader is involved in a ménage à trois with a female Bible Studies teacher and her 32-year-old, bi-sexual, male lover.
The school plans a rally on Friday at 1pm for Turner and Francois. The controversial act will be consummated shortly thereafter and is expected to last eight minutes—three, if Turner skips the foreplay.
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